Vampires Suck [M]

Moving to the wet and cold town of Sporks, Becca becomes romantically attached to two boys: the mysterious and pale vampiric Edward Sullen and the sweet and stable werewolf, Jacob. In her quest to choose between the two, she must survive a family dinner, without becoming the dinner, and try to make her father see that she is no longer a little girl and does not need a pacifier, and with the prom fast approaching, will she have a date in time? 

Spoof movies are becoming a genre in their own right it seems. There have been countless movies such as this one in the past, some have work and some just haven’t. This film is one that didn’t really work. 

Moving to the wet and cold town of Sporks, Becca becomes romantically attached to two boys: the pale and mysterious vampiric Edward Sullen and the sweet and stable werewolf, Jacob. In her quest to choose between the two, Bella must attend a family dinner, without becoming the dinner, and make her father realise that she is no longer a little girl and does not need a pacifier, and with the prom fast approaching, will Becca have a date in time? 

As the title and the cover clearly hints, Vampires Suck is a satirical exploration in the Twilight phenomenon that pays close attention to the teenage angst and romance that’s apparent in the films. I’ll admit that there were some funny and clever moments in the film, but ultimately it was a bit of a flop filled with sex and gore humour. The actors did a fine job mimicking the central stars from Twilight and New Moon, the two films that make up the plotline of this film, and there a few clever references to popular culture including Buffy, Alice from Wonderland, Twitter, and Lady GaGa. 

Starring Jenn Proske, Matt Lanter, Diedrich Bader, Christopher N. Riggi, Anneliese van der Pol, and Ken Jeong, Vampires Suck was another spoof movie in the style of Scary Movie that was filled with blood, cannibalism, Black-Eyed Peas lookalikes, romance, denial, adrenaline, and everything else in between. I feel fine that I watched it and that I can review it, but really it’s nothing special. You can honestly live out the rest of your life fully without having seen this film.