The Tourist [M]

Frank, a mannered American on vacation in Venice is befriended by the beautiful and mysterious Elise, a woman with a secret, and all too soon, their romantic dalliance escalates into a complicated web of danger and deceit as they are chased by Interpol, Scotland Yard, the Italian Police, and Russian hit men. 

I had heard that some critics described this film as a “shampoo commercial with boats”, but who cares? It had Johnny Depp in it, I simply had to rent it out. I can tell you one thing: this is definitely not an action/thriller as the back cover indicates. There is an incredible lack of action and suspense in this film combined with a slightly funny script, famous names, and an abundance of theatrically romantic music mixed with grand amounts of makeup and hair. I’m not so sure about “shampoo commercial” but it was definitely advertising something. 

Alexander Pearce is a man wanted for numerous crimes all over the world. Having got himself a new face to protect himself, Pearce becomes aware that his girlfriend is being followed by the police and tells her to find a man of the same shape and build as him, and lead the police to believe that he is Pearce. Frank, a mild-mannered American is the chosen victim and is befriended by Elise, Pearce’s girlfriend. But soon, their playful dalliance starts to get serious when Elise begins to feel for Frank and, to make matters worse, the pair get chased all over Venice by Interpol, Scotland Yard, and Russian hit men, all under the impression that they are closing in on Alexander Pearce. 

Basically an American remake of the French film Anthony Zimmer, The Tourist was a slightly romantic, yet wholly pointless film. 

Having a thin story as its base causes it to shake from the very beginning, but the theatrically romantic music and most anti-climatic “climax” in history, just killed it. Honestly, the only thing that stood out, for me, in this movie was Angelina Jolie’s makeup and the combination of hers and Johnny’s hair. The entire film did feel light and commercial-like. 

I’ll admit that I did laugh once or twice, mainly at the moments where Johnny’s performance briefly saved the film, but ultimately this movie did nothing for me. 

Starring Johnny Depp, Angelina Jolie, Paul Bettany, Rufus Sewell, and Steven Berkoff, The Tourist was a briefly fun movie that was filled with makeup, flawless hair, famous faces, “action”, and boats. If you watch it, at least you can boast that you’ve seen it, if you don’t, well you can still live a happy and fulfilled life.