The Last Man on Earth [PG]

Another morning and Dr. Robert Morgan awakens to another day of lonely and bleak existence. As he stretches and yawns, he runs through a laundry list of daily tasks: replace the mirrors on the doors, replace the repugnant garlic wreaths, fill up the petrol tank, and take the dead bodies on his lawn to the pit. This has been his way for three years, ever since an airborne plague spread from Europe to America turning all who it infects into vampiric zombies. As far as he knows, Robert is the last man on earth, but he continues to search everyday: a futile hunt for other survivors. 

I love Vincent Price and indeed up until today I was sincerely under the impression that this man could do no wrong. It turns out my faith has taken a slight battering. To give defence where it is needed, there is only so much you can do with the-last-man-standing sort of story. Indeed trying to make a story about one man living day to day in a desolate waste of a city intriguing and entertaining is a mean feat and the fact that people actually rose to the challenge should be applauded, if only a polite little golf-clap applause. 

Another morning and Dr. Robert Morgan awakens to another day of lonely and bleak existence. As he stretches and yawns, he runs through a laundry list of daily tasks: replace the mirrors on the doors, replace the repugnant garlic wreaths, fill up the petrol tank, and take the dead bodies on his lawn to the pit. This has been his way for three years, ever since an airborne plague spread from Europe to America turning all who it infects into vampiric zombies. As far as he knows, Robert is the last man on earth, but he continues to search everyday: a futile hunt for other survivors. 

What keeps attention glued to the screen in this movie is that fact that you’re struggling to work out what the hell is actually going on. Even when ‘the end’ flashed onto the screen, I was still confused as to what I just watched. For the most part, the film is a bit of an inner monologue: a voice over narration just ticking off the fleeting thoughts that go through Vincent’s head: “out of gas”, “I’ll settle for coffee and orange juice today”. Just when you’re about to scream at the TV, demanding answers as to what caused this apocalypse, we’re treated to a wispy flashback where more or less everything is properly explained. From there the question as to whether there is still life out there becomes the central focus and I won’t say more on that for fear that I might give away too much of the narrative. 

For what he had to work with; a dodgy script and a minimal cast for the most part, Vincent Price did pretty well. I imagine it would be hard to play a character that has gone through something like this as well as lived through the trauma of seeing family and friends fall victim. He sort of saunters through without bearing much empathy or feeling: just a fleshed, walking persona of bleakness disguised as a human. When there seems to be hope or a rekindling of late memories, then emotion comes to his face and he becomes a real human, but aside from that there is really nothing more to say on his performance. I’m just a sucker for his voice: that gorgeous, buttery, relishing voice. 

Starring Franca Bettoia, Emma Danieli, Giacomo Rossi-Stuart, Umberto Raho, Christi Courtland, Antonio Corevi, and Ettore Ribotta, The Last Man on Earth is a pretty confusing and dispiriting film that falls well below par in the horror movie canon. Filled with a spattering of drama, action, mystery, and suspense, it’s a pretty “what the…” type of film that I don’t think I’ll watch again any time soon.