It’s a strange and cruel thing when a man, caught in the
wheels of progress, ambitious for the betterment of mankind, is turned into
something primal, fearsome, and primitive. But this is what happened to Joseph
Javorsky, a noted scientist from behind the Iron Curtain who was caught in an
atomic explosion in Yucca Flats and turned into a ruthless killing beast. When
he murders a vacationing couple the patrolmen get hot on his trail, but
disaster strikes when another vacationing family stumble unwittingly into the
middle of the hunt.
Undoubtedly one of the WORST FILMS OF ALL TIME, worthy of
those in Ed Wood’s repertoire, The Beast
of Yucca Flats is the most cringe-worthy, bile-inducing, groan-inspiring,
b-grade horror flick to ever slink into the genre and onto screens.
It’s a
strange and cruel thing when a man, caught in the wheels of progress, ambitious
for the betterment of mankind, is turned into something primal, fearsome, and
primitive. But this is what happened to Joseph Javorsky, a noted scientist from
behind the Iron Curtain who was caught in an atomic explosion in Yucca Flats
and turned into a ruthless killing beast. When he murders a vacationing couple
the patrolmen get hot on his trail, but disaster strikes when another
vacationing family stumble unwittingly into the middle of the hunt.
Absolutely everything about this movie is terrible,
irrefutable tripe. For a start, dead people could deliver more animated
performances than the central cast. To say these actors gave wooden
performances would be outrageously offensive to wood, but you get the idea of
just how irrevocably bad they are!
The story is horrible, made even worse given the fact that it’s told in
voice-over narration that aims to inject a certain sense of poeticism into the
genre. Whoever wrote this script and whoever made the mistake of reading it
aloud should be seriously considered as residents of a nursing clinic or maybe
even an asylum for incurably insane people. To give you just a taste of what
we’re dealing with here: “Nothing bothers some, not even UFOs”
“Hank Radcliffe:
caught in the wheels of justice”
I think I’ve got internal bleeding from just
typing those!
It’d be funny if it was metafictive, but everything in this movie
is so sincere and really seems to be want to be taken seriously that I can’t
even bring myself to say it’s so bad it’s good. The entire thing is overladen
with clichéd metaphors, overdone narration, and there is an inherent lack of
on-screen dialogue. Whatever conversations do happen, have been dubbed in and
it seriously sounds like the producers just picked people at random to read
lines without telling them anything about the back story. It’s utterly horrible!
‘Starring’ Tor Johnson,
Douglas Mellor, Barbara Francis, Bing Stafford, Larry Aten, Ronald Francis, and
Alan Francis, The Beast of Yucca Flats
is seriously one of the worst movies in cinematic history. The highlight, the
one fleeting, thin straw of a highlight in this movie is the fact that you get
to see a bit of a woman’s nipple in the first scene. That’s it! Filled with ‘action’,
‘horror’, ‘suspense’, and ‘drama’, this movie is terrible, just terrible!
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