After his noble and romantic loss of his virginity to his
girlfriend of two years, Eric Stifler begins his freshman year arriving at the
Beta college campus flat and sexually frustrated after four months of a broken
heart and a house lock on masturbation. But with his cousin Dwight’s help in
pledging to the Beta way of life as well as protecting it from Beta’s
archrival, the Geke house, Eric might just have a chance at starting over and
moving on.
Oh no, just oh dear me no. At least with Naked Mile there was an actual story with complications and
resolutions and all that jazz. This right here is just the ultimate college
party, it’s just a portrait of fraternity life with fucking testosterone
(amongst other things) flying every which way.
After his noble and romantic
loss of his virginity to his girlfriend of two years, Eric Stifler begins his
freshman year arriving at the Beta college campus flat and sexually frustrated
after four months of a broken heart and a house lock on masturbation. But with
his cousin Dwight’s help in pledging to the Beta way of life as well as
protecting it from Beta’s archrival, the Geke house, Eric might just have a
chance at starting over and moving on.
With any series of movies there comes a
point to which you push something. Most respectable sagas and series know just
when to stop pushing… the American Pie
saga, not so much. Without a strong enough story upon which to place everything
here, this movie just turned into a drinking game, the loser being the first
member of the audience to either vomit or rush out of the theatre to vomit. The
crudity level reached a whole new number: we’ve got a drinking contest that
turns into a projectile vomit-off, we’ve got fermented hose semen in place of
bullets in a game of Russian Roulette, and then there’s the whole thing with
the sheep.
Deep, and I’m talking very very
deep down on some subterranean level of the story there is a nice element of
the bromance, self-discovery, and steadfastly holding values of tradition. And
that’s about the only silver lining I can find in this dark, dark cloud.
Starring John White, Steve Talley, Christopher McDonald, Meghan Heffern, Jake
Segal, Nick Nicotera, Jonathan Keltz, Bradford Anderson, Sarah Power, and
Eugene Levy, American Pie Presents Beta
House is a crude and pointless movie. Though it could also be considered a
certain brand of audience’s wet dream. Filled with nothing but nudity, sex,
gross pranks and contests, and weird episodes of sexual schadenfreude, I won’t
be watching it again.
No comments:
Post a Comment