Superman III [PG]

Meet Gus Gorman, a dim-witted computer programming natural who becomes entangled in his boss’s schemes to use computers to control the weather in Columbia so that he can steal all their coffee exports, and harvest all the world’s oil. As payment for these ‘favours’ to his boss, Gorman asks him to build him a super-computer, which proceeds to develop a will of its own. Meanwhile Superman, after exposure to an unstable kryptonite substitute, loses his will to be good and begins to indulge in booze and violence, quite literally becoming his own worst enemy. 

Oh, oh, oh this is just so…TERRIBLE! This has to be one of the worst movies all of all time! Did someone actually get paid and credited as a writer on this?! I say now whoever did, should hang their head in shame…in shame do you hear me? SHAME! This movie, from start to finish was a pile of absolute crap made up of terrible writing and dismal performances. Some of the action was all right I’ll say to be fair, but ultimately this movie was absolutely awful. 

Meet Gus Gorman, a dim-witted computer programming natural who becomes entangled in his boss’s schemes to use computers to control the weather in Columbia so that he can steal all their coffee exports, and harvest all the world’s oil. As payment for these ‘favours’ to his boss, Gorman asks him to build him a super-computer, which proceeds to develop a will of its own. Meanwhile Superman, after exposure to an unstable kryptonite substitute, loses his will to be good and begins to indulge in booze and violence, quite literally becoming his own worst enemy. 

At the end of the day the real villain behind this movie’s terribleness was the writing. In literature, narrative, stories what have you, there are certain cues you give so that the audience can fill in the gaps of the story. This story was nothing but gaps! There was absolutely no rhyme or reason behind any of it and when pivotal moments of the plot were happening on the screen, we as the audience have no idea why these moments are pivotal or the reason behind why they are happening. Case in point: the sudden turn of Superman, which was depicted better in Spiderman 3 with the red Spiderman and the black Spiderman. There were not enough cues given to the audience to let them in on the fact that this shoddy kryptonite copy actually was having an effect on the hero. As a result, the climactic fight between Superman and Clark Kent is one that was really confusing. 

I’ll bless Christopher Reeve for trying to bring some drama and intrigue into this flop of a film and, to a lesser extent Richard Pryor who had his moments, but at the end of the day the performances from all the cast were just dismal. It was as though everyone had just given up! 

Starring Jackie Cooper, Marc McClure, Annette O’Toole, Annie Ross, Pamela Stephenson, Robert Vaughn, and Margot Kidder, Superman III is a terrible film containing dismal performances, an unearthly horrible screenplay, romance, drama, and action. It’s too late for me but you can save yourselves… steer clear people, steer clear!