Breaking Dawn Part 2 [M]

Bella is quick to adapt to the change from human into vampire. But the complications in hers and Edward’s love story are far from over. Their newborn daughter, half human half immortal, is growing up fast and to make matters worse, she is spotted by another vampire and mistaken for an ‘immortal child’: a child vampire turned too young to control their thirst or exercise discretion, and reported her to the Volturi. Now the Cullens have to rally all their allies together to either convince Aro that the child is not what she’s accused of being, or fight. 

Ok, to be fair it’s been a long while since I read the books and I may not remember crystal clearly how the final events in this bloody saga went down. But I’m pretty sure that they didn’t go down like this! I was actually rather looking forward to this final instalment of the saga because, without a doubt, it was the best part of the whole bloody thing. In the book, I really loved meeting all these new characters in particular these new vampires from all over the world with pretty cool powers too. I held a special fascination with the Amazonian vampires, and I remember really liking the Egyptian ones too. But even the introduction of these characters that I was looking forward to could not dissuade my negative response to the writing and the general makeup of this ‘climactic’ end. 

Bella is quick to adapt to the change from human into vampire. But the complications in hers and Edward’s love story are far from over. Their newborn daughter, half human half immortal, is growing up fast and to make matters worse, she is spotted by another vampire and mistaken for an ‘immortal child’: a child vampire turned too young to control their thirst or exercise discretion, and reported her to the Volturi. Now the Cullens have to rally all their allies together to either convince Aro that the child is not what she’s accused of being, or fight. 

I can’t really go on a proper rant without giving key points of the plot away, but I’m going to try. For a start, THERE WAS NOT ENOUGH IN THIS FILM! The duration is 110 minutes and about half an hour of that is devoted to fucking credits! I appreciate all the people who work on films, but come on! What really shits me is that Breaking Dawn was split into two films (rightly so, it’s a very big book) and it’s all bloody devoted to Bella and Edward, which means it’s a lot of standing, sitting, or lying around telling each other how much they love each other or how much danger they are in. The book is as big as it is because there was this whole other story running parallel to the central love story regarding Jacob. They could have easily made a 2-hour movie with that story featured, giving this movie some substance! Even the whole ‘imprinting’ drama only goes for two seconds: Bella gets really angry and then in the next scene, she fine with it. WHAT THE FUCK!? 

And the epic battle that I was looking forward too… I won’t even start but I will say that, writing wise, THAT WAS THE CHEAPEST FUCKING SHOT IN CINEMATIC HISTORY! ABSOLUTE COP-OUT PEOPLE! And the last half hour of the bloody thing was not needed at all! It’s just one montage of lovey-dovey moments from earlier films… WHO CARES! We know how much they love each other; we’ve been buying the fucking tickets! ARGH I got really pissed off with this movie! 

Starring Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Peter Facinelli, Elizabeth Reaser, Ashley Greene, Jackson Rathbone, Kellen Lutz, Nikki Reed, Billy Burke, Mackenzie Foy, Maggie Grace, Jamie Campbell Bower, Christopher Heyerdahl, Cameron Bright, Dakota Fanning, Andrew Powell, Casey LaBow, MyAnna Buring, Omar Metwally, Rami Malek, Tracey Heggins, Judith Shekoni, Lee Pace, Joe Anderson, and Michael Sheen, Breaking Dawn Part 2 was fine as a film, but it sure as shit could have been a whole lot better! Filled with beautiful people, action, drama, romance, complications, and a bit of comedy, I’ll say that as a film it was fine but because its this finale in a very big-selling saga and there’s a lot riding on it and I’ve read the books…um I got really pissed off with it!