Killers [M]

Jen is a woman who always thinks about safety first. Having been recently dumped, she goes to France with her parents for a little vacation. Whilst there, she meets Spencer, a gorgeous man who dreams of having a nice and quiet life. The two fall in love and get married. But their perfect marriage starts to crumble when Jen learns that Spencer is an international spy with a bounty on his head. 

What the hell was I thinking when I hired this? The film started off with a bit of potential, but completely lost it halfway through. It was just over an hour of car chases, gunplay, fighting, screaming, and killing. Even the closure at the end was so quick that when the credits started rolling, you’re just left there with a vacant expression on your face and after a pause, you exclaim “what the hell!?” 

Jen has been recently dumped by her boyfriend and is vacationing with her parents in France to try and take her mind of it. Whilst there she meets Spencer, a gorgeous man who dreams of settling down to a quiet and suburban life. Their quick romance leads to a swift marriage and they return home for three years of “happily married”. But their idyllic marriage starts to crumble when Jen learns that Spencer is an international spy with a bounty on his head. As if this isn’t enough for Jen, the majority of their neighbourhood is filled with hired killers who are out to get them. 

The film started off nice and smoothly, easily establishing Jen’s situation and all that, but then, as the romance begins to blossom between Jen and Spencer, everything about the film gets faster. One minute their having their second date in France, the next minute you find that they have been happily married for three years. I think the major thing that caused this film to crumble was the fact that everything was thrown at you so suddenly, that you didn’t really have enough time to register it. 

And the attempt at closure at the end!... What the hell man?! Practically the whole plot is explained in five minutes and then the credits start rolling. I sat there completely dumbfounded, a real vacant look on my face, yelling at the TV “what the hell was that!?” I don’t think the film has any redeeming feature, not even the cast, which includes Ashton Kutcher, Katherine Heigl, Tom Selleck, and Catherine O’Hara. 

A really fast-moving flick filled with copious amounts of gunplay, fist fighting, car chases, and killings, Killers is a craptacular film, one which I don’t think will be making into the collection… ever.