The Pirate Movie [PG]

Modern and shy teenager Mabel fantasises about a romantic adventure filled with pirates, musical numbers, and starring Frederick, the man of her dreams. Although Frederick and Mabel share a strong love, Frederick is bound by a sense of duty to serve the Pirate King, who plans to plunder and pillage Mabel’s family. With Frederick behind the Pirate King, can Mabel’s fantasy have a happy ending? 

I honestly don’t know what was going through my mind when I hired this out from work. I saw it and, completely on impulse, grabbed it and hired it. All I have to say about the film is “what the hell!?” 

Modern and shy teenager Mabel is the victim of teasing and taunting from all the pretty girls. When she gets invited to join Frederick, a debonair young lad dressed as a pirate in an amusement park, for a ride on his boat, every other girl, in a fit of jealousy, begs to come along and then leave without her. Desperate to catch up with them, Mabel hires a boat, but her pursuit is cut short when she falls overboard and washes up on a beach. In a deep unconscious sleep, Mabel fantasises about a romantic adventure filled with pirates, musical numbers, and an epic battle between those she dutifully serves and he that she loves. With Frederick on the side of the Pirate King who plans to destroy Mabel’s family, can her romantic fantasy have a happy ending? 

Based on the operetta The Pirates of Penzance by Gilbert and Sullivan, The Pirate Movie was an epically silly film that had me staring blankly at the screen for 95 minutes. It seemed that swordfights and musical numbers dominated the entire movie and every twist of the story was thrown so quickly at you, you had no time to catch up. 

Set in the 1980s and then going back to the 1880s, the film has a whole heap of modern references creep into the picture that, for the most part, have no business being there. It was sort of Monty Python-esque without being clever or funny. At one point, a Star Wars reference came into the picture and I actually was like “OH COME ON!” I couldn’t even laugh at how silly it was. 

Starring Kristy McNichol, Christopher Atkins, Ted Hamilton, Bill Kerr, Garry McDonald and Maggie Kirkpatrick, The Pirate Movie was a very silly flick made up of nothing but swordfights, musical numbers, cheesy love scenes and an even cheesier ending. I’m not in any rush to see it again.