A Nightmare On Elm Street [MA]

Nancy has been having grizzly nightmares featuring a hideously burnt man with knives on the ends of his fingers. Meanwhile, her high school friends, who are having the same nightmares, are being slaughtered in their sleep by the same fiend, known as Freddy Krueger. When the police ignore Nancy’s explanation for the murders, she herself must confront Freddy in her dreams. But if she doesn’t wake up screaming, then she won’t wake up at all. 

Yes, it has happened. I am now steadily easing my way into the horror genre. I figure what better way to start than with one of the most infamous undead villains in cinematic history? Freddy Krueger has slashed up screens time and time again for years, becoming one of the most celebrated and widely recognised villains. 

Nancy has been having grizzly nightmares featuring a grotesquely burnt man in a striped sweater with knives at the ends of his fingers. The following day, she learns that she is not the only one who has met this monster. Her high school friends Tina, Glen, and Rob have also been having disturbing dreams starring the same fiend. It’s all just a strange coincidence until one night, Tina is brutally murdered in her sleep. As each of her friends gets viciously slaughtered in their sleep, it becomes apparent to Nancy that Freddy, the fiend who stars in her dreams, is out to make her nightmares a reality. When the police ignore her explanations, Nancy takes it upon herself to confront Freddy and take him down, keeping in mind that if she doesn’t wake up screaming, she won’t wake up at all. 

Nightmare was a brilliant film that pretty much had everything right. It had the perfect balance of blood and gore, a good story, the right amount of suspense and sudden appearances of the villain, and spine-tinglingly brilliant music. For someone just beginning to get into horror films, I found this one perfect to start with. I wasn’t scared at all, I was exhilarated and I even laughed once or twice. 

The thing that really stood out for me in this film was the movement of the camera. I’ve always said that the music plays the most important part in horror films because it creates the atmosphere, but now I’m thinking that it’s the marriage of music and camera work that gets the response from the audience. The slow movement of the camera as it follows the heroine, creates the haunting and sinister atmosphere and makes you feel like looking over your shoulder. Brilliant! 

And the special effects were pretty cool too. Obviously, because it’s an 80s movie, it’s not going to be as realistic or gory like the effects of today, but I think that’s what makes the movie so good: it’s not overflowing with special effects. The effects that stood out for me were the attack in the bathtub and the attacks where the victims are sucked into their beds as though they were in quicksand. Downright awesome! 

Starring John Saxon, Ronee Blakley, Heather Langenkamp, Amanda Wyss, Jsu Garcia, Robert Englund, and introducing Johnny Depp, A Nightmare On Elm Street was a brilliant horror flick packed with suspense, bloodshed, murder, and a brilliant twist of the plot at the end. 

“One, two, Freddy’s coming for you. Three, four, better lock your door. Five, six, grab your crucifix. Seven, eight, gonna stay up late. Nine, ten, never sleep again.” 

The Muppet Movie [G]

Join Kermit the frog as he journeys to Hollywood in the hopes of becoming rich and famous. Along the way he’ll meet new friends and discover a family that shares his dream. What started out as a humble banjo song in the swamp, soon turns into an adventure that brought us The Muppets. 

I was brought up on the Muppets, so it will come as no surprise that I simply had to have their movies in my collection. The day I finally found the very first Muppet movie on DVD, I was so excited, I can’t tell you. For a ridiculously low price, I got myself a copy and spent the entire afternoon laughing and singing along. 

One fine day as Kermit the frog is sitting on a log playing his banjo and singing, he gets approached by a lost Hollywood talent agent, who tells him that he’s got talent and could make millions of people happy. With this dream in mind, Kermit decides to leave the swamp and go to Hollywood to become rich and famous. Upon meeting a bear called Fozzie in a sleazy bar, he gains a travelling companion, but Fozzie is not the only person who has taken a liking to Kermit. A restaurant owner called Doc Hopper approaches Kermit and tries to get him to become his spokesperson for his restaurant, which serves only French fried frog legs. Appalled at his proposal, Kermit refuses, but the Doc just won’t accept “no” for an answer.  Soon Kermit and Fozzie find themselves being chased all over the country by Doc Hopper. With open auditions for animals being held in Hollywood in a few days, can Kermit and Fozzie get rid of the Doc and get there in time? 

The Muppets have been around for 50 years now and they’re still going strong. Going back to this movie is great because it shows you how the whole Muppet phenomenon started. We see the humble beginnings of Kermit, Fozzie, Gonzo, Rolf, Dr Bunsen Honeydew, Beaker, Sweetums, Dr Teeth and the Electric Mayhem, and Miss Piggy. 

Featuring familiar faces such as Mel Brooks, Steve Martin, Austin Pendleton, Charles Durning, Edgar Bergen, Charlie McCarthy, Milton Berle, James Coburn, Dom DeLuise, Bob Hope, Madeline Khan, Elliott Gould, and Paul Williams, The Muppet Movie is a fantastic film for those tragics, like me, who like to revert back to their childhoods. 

Filled with classic songs such as The Rainbow Connection and Moving Right Along, it’s a fun film filled with adventure, romance, music, action, and bad jokes, wacka wacka! 

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (extended) [M]

The days are darkening and the dark Lord Sauron is fast gathering his legions of followers to seal the doom of Middle Earth. The only weapon that can be used against him lies in the hands of a hobbit who is slowly falling under its evil influence. All the efforts of the splintered fellowship have been leading to this moment. Now it will be seen if they succeed or fail. 

It occurred to me as I was watching the special features of this extended DVD that The Lord of the Rings is a decade old now. It seems like only yesterday that the first one was in the cinemas. Seriously, these films have no expiration date and when you watch the special features on disc three and four, you learn things about how they achieved that on screen and it just blows your mind. 

In the land of Mordor, the dark Lord Sauron is gathering his evil legions of followers to deliver the final stroke that will determine the doom of Middle Earth. The question on everyone’s lips is “where will the final stroke fall?” But for all Suaron’s plotting and secrecy, there is one thing that can be used against him: the One Ring of Power that he himself created. That a group has set forth to destroy the Ring has not entered his darkest nightmares and that remains Middle Earth’s only advantage. As Frodo and Sam stumble their way into Mordor to carry out the deed, the remaining members of the fellowship have been reunited and are now in preparation for the coming battle. All their hardships, broken bones, bad dreams, losses, and efforts have been leading to this moment. This is the moment when the quest succeeds or fails. 

Of the three films that make up the Lord of the Rings trilogy, The Return of the King is the film where the sets and scenery steal the show. What was utterly awesome when seen on screen for the first time becomes even more mind-blowing when you learn how they managed to achieve that effect. In Return of the King it was the set of Minas Tirith, the capital of Gondor that had me marvelling. The long shots of the exterior of Minas Tirith shows us an entire city that is situated in one magnificent structure. This beautiful structure is actually a miniature scale model and the background has been digitally put in. Watching it on screen, you could swear that this structure had actually been built into the rock surrounding it. There is no way for me to put into words the magnificence of Minas Tirith. As soon as you set eyes on it, you are completely awestruck. 

From a stunt and action perspective, The Return of the King is a very enjoyable film because there are epic battles left, right, and centre. Not only are there wonderful swordfights and arrow shootings, there are decapitated heads flying everywhere, numerous merciless stabbings, and women slaying that which men can’t. Miranda Otto kicks arse in this movie! 

One thing that I have to draw attention to is the Cameras In Middle Earth special feature located on the fourth disc. There is one of these on every fourth disc for each film and it basically follows the actors’ and crew’s personal experiences during production. It’s on these features that you hear wonderful little stories from the cast and crew. What I love about the Cameras In Middle Earth on this film is that they show you the closure of the production. As actors have their final days on set doing scenes and pick-ups and stuff, there are gifts given and beautiful gestures of love. One that really stands out is the one that Viggo Mortensen received on his last day. Viggo had been an incredibly popular guy on the set, in particular with the stunt guys, all of whom are Maori. On his last day, the stunt team gave him a most beautiful Maori Haka, something that is only performed for royalty. It is just beautiful to watch this happen. Seriously, if you ever get a copy of the extended Return of the King, watch the Cameras In Middle Earth! 

With it’s stellar cast of Elijah Wood, Sean Astin, Dominic Monaghan, Billy Boyd, Ian McKellen, Viggo Mortenesen, John Rhys-Davies, Orlando Bloom, David Wenham, Miranda Otto, Karl Urban, Bernard Hill, Christopher Lee, Brad Douriff, Andy Serkis, Bruce Spence, Liv Tyer, Hugo Weaving, Cate Blanchett, Ian Holm, and John Noble, The Return of the King is an epic movie filled with action, romance, battles, hideous creatures, and knock-out special effects. If you really are a fan of movies, you cannot go through your entire life without having seen the extended Lord of the Rings! 

Bad Boys [MA]

Mike and Marcus are two cops heating up the streets of Miami, proving that bad boys finish first. When a huge stash of drugs is stolen from Miami PD headquarters, Mike and Marcus are put on the case to recover them. But what started as a simple case of recovering stolen drugs soon turns into an action-packed train wreck of murder, gunplay, and more explosions that one can count. 

A former work colleague and frequent customer of mine has been on my back and harassing me non-stop: “rent Bad Boys!” “Have you seen Bad Boys yet?” You know what you should review… Bad Boys!” Over and over and over again. Well J. IT’S HAPPENED! I HAVE SEEN BAD BOYS! 

Mike and Marcus are two cops burning up the streets of Miami and taking nobody’s shit. When a break-in happens at Miami PD headquarters and a large stash of drugs is stolen, the boys are immediately put on the case to recover them. But with no leads and no real starting point, the boys find themselves at a disadvantage. When a contact of Mike’s gets roped into the investigation, the plot thickens as she and a former cop are murdered. With only one stubborn witness on their side, the boys are running against the clock and what started out as a simple matter of recovering stolen drugs, soon turns into a giant train wreck and the shittiest week of their lives. 

Bad Boys is a real action movie, that’s the first thing that needs to be said. It’s filled with gunplay, fire, explosions, profanities, and car chases. Totally awesome if you’re into that kind of thing. I don’t mind the occasional bit of action, so I did enjoy Bad Boys. 

Will Smith plays the smooth charmer Mike. I have a real soft spot for Will Smith I have to admit. In anything he does, I just love him. In Bad Boys, Will was smooth, violent, aggressive, and constantly screaming and arguing with his partner. Very entertaining. Rock on Will! 

Martin Lawrence plays Marcus, the one who is married and being denied his “quality time.” As much as I love Will, Martin had the spotlight in this flick. He does everything from arguing with his partner, to shooting randomly at moving targets, to pretending to be someone he’s not, all the while trying to not to get on anyone’s bad side. He was defensive, violent, tightly wound, and quite funny to watch. 

Tea Leoni is the “damsel in distress” and I have to say that I found her just gorgeous. She was smoking in this movie! With a suspicious and sometimes cynical attitude towards the boys, she provided the movie with extra heat. 

Packed to bursting with car chases, gun fights, violence, explosions, blood shed, shootings, and a couple of slow motion running sequences, Bad Boys was a real action movie that any hothead can get a kick out of. 

The Pirate Movie [PG]

Modern and shy teenager Mabel fantasises about a romantic adventure filled with pirates, musical numbers, and starring Frederick, the man of her dreams. Although Frederick and Mabel share a strong love, Frederick is bound by a sense of duty to serve the Pirate King, who plans to plunder and pillage Mabel’s family. With Frederick behind the Pirate King, can Mabel’s fantasy have a happy ending? 

I honestly don’t know what was going through my mind when I hired this out from work. I saw it and, completely on impulse, grabbed it and hired it. All I have to say about the film is “what the hell!?” 

Modern and shy teenager Mabel is the victim of teasing and taunting from all the pretty girls. When she gets invited to join Frederick, a debonair young lad dressed as a pirate in an amusement park, for a ride on his boat, every other girl, in a fit of jealousy, begs to come along and then leave without her. Desperate to catch up with them, Mabel hires a boat, but her pursuit is cut short when she falls overboard and washes up on a beach. In a deep unconscious sleep, Mabel fantasises about a romantic adventure filled with pirates, musical numbers, and an epic battle between those she dutifully serves and he that she loves. With Frederick on the side of the Pirate King who plans to destroy Mabel’s family, can her romantic fantasy have a happy ending? 

Based on the operetta The Pirates of Penzance by Gilbert and Sullivan, The Pirate Movie was an epically silly film that had me staring blankly at the screen for 95 minutes. It seemed that swordfights and musical numbers dominated the entire movie and every twist of the story was thrown so quickly at you, you had no time to catch up. 

Set in the 1980s and then going back to the 1880s, the film has a whole heap of modern references creep into the picture that, for the most part, have no business being there. It was sort of Monty Python-esque without being clever or funny. At one point, a Star Wars reference came into the picture and I actually was like “OH COME ON!” I couldn’t even laugh at how silly it was. 

Starring Kristy McNichol, Christopher Atkins, Ted Hamilton, Bill Kerr, Garry McDonald and Maggie Kirkpatrick, The Pirate Movie was a very silly flick made up of nothing but swordfights, musical numbers, cheesy love scenes and an even cheesier ending. I’m not in any rush to see it again. 

The Princess Bride [PG]

The beautiful and fair Buttercup falls in love with her farm boy Westley, but when he departs to seek a fortune for their future together, his boat is attacked by the Dread Pirate Roberts who never leaves any survivors. Though her heart is completely broken, Buttercup’s charm and beauty catches the attention of Prince Humperdinck who is determined to have Buttercup as his wife. 

This is the second time that I have rented The Princess Bride from work, and I have to say that I enjoyed it much more this time around. I think that the first time, I didn’t notice the wit of the script, the beauty of the costumes, or the superb mastery of the swordfights. Truth be told, the only thing I think I remember really liking in the film the first time around was the characters, some more memorable than others. 

The beautiful and fair Buttercup falls in love with her farm boy Westley who truly loves her back. But when he departs to seek a fortune so that they may have a bright future together, his boat is attacked by the Dread Pirate Roberts who never leaves any survivors. This completely breaks Buttercup’s heart and she vows that she will never love again. Though in a great state of despair, Buttercup’s beauty and charm catches the attention of the relentless Prince Humperdinck, who becomes determined to have Buttercup as his wife. Finding no joy in her engagement to Prince Humperdinck, Buttercup finds peace in afternoon horse rides. But when she is kidnapped by a band of thugs during once such ride, a conspiracy unfolds, turning into the greatest adventure of her lifetime. 

Just a bit of trivia now. The original Princess Bride was written by S. Morgenstern, but it is the “good parts” or abridged version by William Goldman that the film is based on. The film is very true to the book in that the story sometimes gets interrupted quite abruptly by the characters of the sick boy and his grandfather who is reading the story to him. You may or may not know that this is a reflection of a real life experience of William Goldman’s. 

In terms of film though, it’s simply wonderful. Very visually pleasing and filled with everything from action to romance. Equally as good as any classic Disney fairy tale. 

I simply must draw attention to the beautiful costumes. Between Buttercup’s princess outfits and Westley’s black suit, well seeing is believing. You’ll have to watch the film. 

And the swordfights, oh my god! I now have to draw attention to the master of swordplay, Bob Anderson, who was responsible for the swordfights in The Lord of the Rings, Pirates of the Caribbean, The Mask of Zorro, he was in the Darth Vader costume fighting Alec Guinness in the original Star Wars, and he was Errol Flynn’s stunt double. Please everyone, a round of applause for Bob Anderson. I salute you! 

Backed by a wonderfully quick-witted script and beautiful performances from Carey Elwes, Mandy Patinkin, Chris Sarandon, Robin Wright Christopher Guest, Wallace Shawn, Andre the Giant, Billy Crystal, and Peter Falk, The Princess Bride is a wonderful movie filled with action, adventure, romance, passion, swordfights, fantasy, and a sinister war conspiracy. Perfect for the whole family. 

Planet of the Apes [M]

In the year 2029, interstellar reconnaissance missions are performed by trained chimpanzee pilots from the space station Oberon. During once such mission, a chimp pilot gets lost in an electromagnetic storm and his trainer, Leo, braves the unknown to bring him back. When Leo loses communication with Oberon, his pod malfunctions, and he crash lands in a jungle planet, similar to Earth. To Leo’s astonishment, the planet is inhabited by English-speaking apes who don’t take to humans. Lost and alone, Leo concocts a plan to escape from this ape-infested nightmare and return back to his home planet. 


An interesting interpretation of the original film starring Charlton Heston, Planet of the Apes is, I think, the only Tim Burton film that I don’t feel is essential to have in my collection. I will say that the special effects, prosthetics and makeup were brilliant, the script had its moments, and the actors were great, but unfortunately the film went around in even more circles than the original one (from what I remember). 


In the year 2029, interstellar reconnaissance missions are performed by specially trained chimpanzee pilots. When one mission goes wrong and a chimp is lost, his trainer Leo, embarks upon a rescue mission that turns out to be more dangerous than he ever imagined. After braving an electromagnetic storm, Leo finds himself stranded on a jungle planet similar to Earth. To his astonishment, the planet is inhabited by English-speaking apes who do not take kindly to “damn dirty humans.” Lost and alone, Leo is determined to find out where he is and then to escape from this ape-infested nightmare. But this is going to be more dangerous and more difficult than he could ever have imagined. 


I’m going to come clean and say that I really don’t get the story of Planet of the Apes. It just seems to be a mixture of time travel and going around in science fiction circles with the boot going onto the other foot in the process. Pushing forward through time to arrive at a time that’s years behind the technological state in which we left, discovering that evolution is just repeating itself and going in circles, is a little too hard to grasp for me. 
I will say that the outstanding feature of this film was the prosthetics and the makeup. Absolutely amazing. Really realistic, which is what you want in a film rather than have over-the-top computer graphics that take away the realism of the whole thing. Rick Baker is a genius. 
Planet of the Apes is filled with familiar faces including Mark Wahlberg, Tim Roth, Helena Bonham Carter, Paul Giamatti, Michael Clarke Duncan, and Kris Kristofferson, all of whom deliver great performances. 
Filled with action, suspense, romance, science fiction, time travel, monkeys, rebellion, and battles, Tim Burton’s Planet of the Apes is an interesting trip, though not one that I’d like to experience very often. 

Beauty and the Beast [G]

Relive the magic and romance of Disney’s Beauty and the Beast with this limited 2-disc Diamond edition. The most beautiful love story to ever grace our screens is now available for a limited time on DVD. Join Belle as she discovers true beauty and true love in the most unlikely of people. And swoon as he who was once selfish and heartless learns to love another. 

Tale as old as time. Song as old as rhyme. Beauty and the Beast. 

I had the best Disney tragic’s night of my life last night. After a gruelling day at work, the Disney delivery that I have been waiting for for seven years finally arrived! Quickly buying myself a copy of my all-time favourite Disney movie, I came home and my mum, my dad, and I all sat down after the news to be swept away by the magic of Beauty and the Beast. I laughed, I sang, I swooned, I danced, and I cried (which is rare for me). 

Once upon a time, in a faraway land, a young prince lived in a shining castle. Although he had everything his heart desired, the prince was spoiled, selfish, and unkind. But then, one winter’s night, an old beggar woman came to the castle and offered him a single rose in return for shelter from the bitter cold. Repulsed by her haggard appearance, the prince sneered at the gift and turned the old woman away. But she warned him not to be deceived by appearances, for beauty is found within. And when he dismissed her again, the old woman’s ugliness melted away to reveal a beautiful enchantress. The prince tried to apologise, but it was too late, for she had seen that there was no love in his heart. And as punishment, she transformed him into a hideous beast and placed a powerful spell on the castle and all who lived there. Ashamed of his monstrous form, the Beast concealed himself inside his castle with a magic mirror as his only window to the outside world. The rose she had offered was truly an enchanted rose, which would bloom until his twenty first year. If he could learn to love another and earn her love in return by the time the last petal fell, then the spell would be broken. If not, he would be doomed to remain a beast for all time. As the years passed, he fell into despair and lost all hope, for who could ever learn to love a beast?

When Belle’s father, Maurice, gets lost in the woods, he stumbles upon the Beast’s castle. Being invited by the furniture to warm himself, Maurice soon finds himself at the mercy of the Beast and locked away in his dungeon. When Belle discovers that her father is missing, she makes her way to the castle and begs the Beast to take her in her father’s place. As time passes, the castle becomes Belle’s home and she begins to see a certain something in the Beast that wasn’t there before. 

Based on the abridged version of Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve’s original fairy tale (the abridged version being written by Jeanne-Marie le Prince de Beaumont), Beauty and the Beast is the ultimate Disney classic with a most powerful and beautiful story, wonderful songs, mesmerising animation, and memorable characters. 

This 2 disc Diamond Edition actually contains three different versions of the film: the original theatrical version, an extended version, and a work-in-progress version. 

Being one of the later Disney films, made in 1991, the animation is absolutely beautiful. Sharp and clear, with the characters actually looking like proper people and not caricatures. The world that was created on screen in this film was the most magical and breathtaking place I had ever seen. Even the dark enchanted castle was a thing of beauty. And then to see all this gorgeous colour return to it as its inhabitants once again begin to hope, was pure fairy tale magic. 

The film received two awards: an ASCAP Film and Television Music Award for Most Performed Songs from Motion Pictures in 1993, and an Oscar in 1992 for Best Music Original Score (and rightly so). 

Featuring the voice talents of Paige O’Hara, Robby Benson, Richard White, Jerry Orbach, David Ogden Stiers, Rex Everhart, and Angela Lansbury, Beauty and the Beast is film of pure magic. 

Filled with wonderful songs, memorable characters, romance, action, and suspense, it’s one of the greatest love stories ever told. A true gem that simply must be in any film collection. 

Be our guest. Be our guest. Be our guest. 

The Wiz [G]

Dorothy is 24 and still living at home with her Auntie Em and Uncle Henry. Afraid to try anything new, Dorothy is thrust headlong into the world of Oz where she encounters new and strange people. Desperate to get home, Dorothy sets off on a journey to see the Wiz, the almighty and powerful wizard of Oz. Along the way she meets people who are just as alone as she is and, all together, they follow the yellow brick road to make their wishes come true. 

I don’t really know what was going through my mind this afternoon, but I saw this DVD and I thought, “I’ll watch that tonight.” An interesting Motown take on L. Frank Baum’s classic tale of magic and adventure, The Wiz is a strange film filled with catchy tunes, strange characters, and singer/actors. 

Dorothy is 24 years old and still living at home with her Auntie Em and Uncle Henry. Afraid to try anything new, Dorothy has grown up shy and distant. But when her dog Toto escapes into a snowstorm, Dorothy is forced to face her fears by being thrust headlong into the world of Oz. Finding herself surrounded by strange people and creatures, Dorothy wishes for nothing more than to get home, but there is only one person in all of Oz that has the power to grant her wish: the great and terrible Wiz. Desperate to get home, Dorothy sets off down the yellow brick road to the Emerald City to ask the Wiz to send her home. Along the way she meets people who are just as needy as she is, and together they form a unique group of companions, all together off on an adventure that will change their lives. 

I think the only thing that this movie had going for it was the soundtrack. The songs were brilliant. Very catchy, with a wonderful Motown sound. 

The film had a very interesting cast of singer/actors, some of which should stick to singing. 

Diana Ross plays Dorothy and I’m sorry to say that she over-acted everything. As powerful and wonderful as her voice is, the combination of her singing and acting shouldn’t have gone on screen. 

Michael Jackson, one the other hand, who plays the Scarecrow, was the most adorable thing in the film. Constantly quoting famous authors whose clippings he has been stuffed with, Michael gave a very heart warming and gorgeous performance. Loved it. 

Starring other familiar faces such as Ted Ross as the Cowardly Lion, Nipsey Russel as the Tinman, Richard Pryor as the Wiz, and Lena Horne as Glinda the Good, The Wiz was a somewhat interesting, but wholly silly take on L. Frank Baum’s classic story. If you go your entire life without seeing this film, you’re not missing anything. 

The Rescuers [G]

Young Penny has been taken by an evil and greedy lady named Madame Medusa to find the world’s biggest diamond. Frightened and desperate to get home, Penny sends a message in a bottle asking for help. When the bottle washes up in the harbour of New York, an international group of mice called the Rescue Aid Society are quick to act. Two agents, Miss Bianca and Mr Bernard, are given the assignment of rescuing Penny, but because Penny’s message has been damaged be its sea journey, Bernard and Bianca have no idea where to start or what they’re getting themselves into. 

The Rescuers is one of those classic Disney films that tends to be forgotten or not even heard of. It’s a great story of adventure, bravery, and the characters are very memorable. 

A little girl named Penny has been taken by an evil ad greedy lady named Madame Medusa to find the world’s largest diamond: the Devil’s Eye. Frightened and desperate to get home, Penny sends a message in a bottle asking for help. After a long journey, the bottle finally washes up in the harbour of New York, where a group of international mice called the Rescue Aid Society are quick to act. Two agents, Miss Bianca and Mr Bernard are given the assignment of finding Penny and rescuing her. But Penny’s message has been damaged by its watery journey, making it almost impossible to read or gain any information from. Not sure where to start, Bianca and Bernard go to Penny’s home at Morningside Orphanage to get more information. The two mice then realise that they are in for more than they bargained for when they meet the trashy and insane Madame Medusa and her pet crocodiles Nero and Brutus. Between the crocs and the sinking boathouse where Penny is kept, it’s going to be harder to escape than they ever imagined. 

The Rescuers is such a cute little movie, it’s hard to believe that there are some “Disney geeks” out there who have never seen it. It’s filled with memorable characters, action, suspense, and one of the most dramatic villains since Cruella De Vil. Madame Medusa actually has the same car as Cruella! 

The great mix of characters is what makes this film so great. You’ve got a superstitious mouse, a carefree and stylish mouse, an innocent little girl, a speedy dragonfly, an albatross who doubles as a plane, and two of the fattest crocs you’ve ever seen. 

Featuring the voice talents of Bob Newhart and Eva Gabor, The Rescuers is a wonderful Disney film filled with action, suspense, danger, romance, and adventure. Another timeless Disney classic. 

Finding Nemo [G]

On his first day at school, young Nemo gets into an argument with his father Marlin and swims out into open water. Whilst there, two divers appear and snatch him from the reef. Desperate to save his son, Marlin embarks upon a journey of epic proportions. Teaming up with a forgetful fish named Dory, Marlin will brave anything and everything to get his son back. 

I think that Finding Nemo would have to be my favourite Disney Pixar film. It had everything right. The story, the script, and the characters were absolutely priceless. It’s perfect for all ages. No joke. My dad and I walk about the house quoting this film: “Fish are friends, not food.” 

Marlin the clownfish lived a perfect life with his wife and 300 unhatched eggs. But then the unthinkable happened when his wife and 299 of his children were eaten by another fish. Finding only one egg left, Marlin promises that nothing will ever happen to this egg, his son Nemo. Thus Nemo has grown up with a lot of rules and boundaries, all of which are shattered on his first day of school. Whilst with a group of friends, Nemo swims out into open water to prove to his dad that, despite his gimpy fin, there are things he can do. Whilst out there, two divers appear and snatch him from the reef. Despairing Marlin then races after the boat with all his speed, but soon ends up losing it. Desperate to find the boat and save his son, Marlin gets help from a fish called Dory who turns out to suffer from short-term memory loss. Together Marlin and Dory embark upon a journey to Sydney to save Nemo. A journey that’s going to be more dangerous than either of them can ever have imagined. 

Visually, Finding Nemo is a wonderful film. The animation is sharp and no colour was spared. It’s probably one of the brightest and most colourful films you’ll ever see. 

The story was nice and simple, really easy to follow, but essentially it was the characters that made the film so brilliant. You had a paranoid joke-killing clownfish, a carefree fish who forgets things instantly, vegetarian sharks, stoner sea turtles, a pelican interested in dentistry, a fish who’s obsessed with bubbles, a fish who confuses her reflection for her sister, one-word seagulls, and an H2O intolerant seahorse. 

And the little jokes and gags that were slipped into the script were simply genius. 

Featuring the voice talents of Albert Brookes, Ellen DeGeneres, Willem Dafoe, Brad Garrett, Allison Janney, Austin Pendleton, Geoffrey Rush, Elizabeth Perkins, Bruce Spence, Barry Humphries, Eric Bana, Bill Hunter, and Rove McManus, Finding Nemo is a classic film that people of all ages will absolutely love. I can’t physically write the sheer brilliance of this movie. It is a film that you HAVE to see at least once in your life. 

Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming swimming swimming. What do we do? We swim swim.

Bedknobs and Broomsticks [G]

Miss Price is an amateur witch who reluctantly takes in three precocious orphaned children to live with her. When a certain spell she requires for the war effort doesn’t arrive, she bewitches a bed to fly her to London to track down Professor Brown and get that spell. Taking the kids along for the ride, Miss Price is dispirited to find that Professor Brown is a fake magician and he does not have the one spell that she needs. Joining forces with Professor Brown, the hunt begins for this most crucial spell. 

Nursing a sore stomach from a mild case of food poisoning, I was feeling pretty dismal and sorry for myself this afternoon. So I whacked on Bedknobs and Broomsticks and soon forgot all about my sore tummy. It’s one of those classic films that certain memories are attached to. Whenever I watch it, it feels like I’m back in my old house, rugged up on a really dismal rainy afternoon with a cup of hot chocolate on one side and my grandmother on the other. No matter what mood I’m in, Bedknobs and Broomsticks has the power to warm me up and make me feel safe and untroubled. Love it. 

Eglantine Price is an amateur witch with a plan to assist the war effort. But her plan is interrupted when she is asked to take in three orphaned children from the city. Keeping her being a witch a secret, she reluctantly takes in the kids and provides them with food and a nice warm bed. During an escape attempt, the children discover Eglantine’s true identity and make a pact with her to not spill her secret. In return for their silence, Eglantine gives them a travelling spell that causes the bed in their room to be able to fly them anywhere they want to go. Things go from bad to worse when Eglantine receives a letter explaining that she will not be receiving the spell she needs for her plan to help the war effort. Desperate to get this spell, Eglantine takes the kids on a bed ride to London to track down a Professor Brown who might have the spell she needs. Eglantine is dispirited when she discovers that professor Brown is just a street magician and does not have the spell she requires. Dragging the kids and Professor Brown along for the ride, Eglantine begins a furious hunt for this one crucial spell. 

The DVD of Bedknobs and Broomsticks is a restored and remastered version, which is both a positive and a negative. There are wonderful new musical sequences, extended scenes and new songs, but sometimes the dubbing of the voices is a little off, out of sync with the actors’ mouths and quite often obviously different voices. Aside from that the film is just as good as ever. It’s filled with wonderful songs, slapstick comedy, live actors working with animated animals, and possibly the best battle ever put on screen. The battle at the end is my absolute favourite part, all the ancient suits of armour fighting the Germans. 20 years old and I still get excited when the suits of armour take on a life of their own and march into battle. 

Starring Angela Lansbury and David Tomlinson, Bedknobs and Broomsticks is a timeless classic filled with songs, magic spells, talking animals, and memorable characters. A perfect family film for a rainy afternoon. 

Elizabethtown [M]

Anyone can create a failure, but Drew Baylor has created a fiasco, resulting in his losing his job. Seeing no light at the end of the tunnel, Drew decides that suicide is the best solution but, as he attempts to kill himself, his sister calls and informs him that his dad has died. It’s up to Drew to go to Kentucky, have his dad cremated and then bring him home. Intent on killing himself when he returns, Drew accepts the assignment, but whilst amongst his Dad’s family, a new light is shed on his gloomy perspective of life. 

I went and saw this at a time when I was young and going through an Orlando Bloom obsession. Yes, I am not ashamed to admit that I had a massive crush on Orland Bloom. Yes, ORLANDO BLOOM. I didn’t stutter. So I went and saw this movie for the simple fact that Orlando was in it and came away smiling because I had just watched one of the cutest and refreshingly original stories about love and life. 

Drew Baylor is a shoe designer and has recently created a shoe that has flopped spectacularly. Causing the company to lose a billion dollars and Drew to lose his job, no light can be seen at the end of the tunnel. For Drew there is only success and failure and, finding himself a failure, he decides that suicide is the only sensible solution. Upon attempting to put an end to his misery, he receives a call from his sister saying that his father has died. Drew’s mother and sister send Drew to Kentucky to have his dad, Mitch, cremated and then bring him home. Intent on keeping alive the fantasy that he is a successful shoe designer amongst his Dad’s family, Drew puts on a brave face, all the while counting down the days. But as he spends more and more time with his Dad’s family and with a flight attendant he met on the plane, Drew learns that success is not the only joy that life offers. 

Elizabethtown sounds like a boring story, but the film was actually quite clever with a smart and quick-witted script, memorable characters, and wonderful actors. 

Orlando Bloom plays Drew, taking a step away from action movies and battle sequences. In Elizabethtown Orlando is clever, confused, lost, and sometimes quite funny. Playing a guy with a bleak outlook on life doesn’t offer much room for interpretation and Orlando made the most of the character he had. His was a very good and refreshing performance. 

Kirsten Dunst plays Claire the flight attendant and she was absolutely adorable. As we all know, I don’t usually take to actresses, but Kirsten was refreshingly eccentric and wonderfully impulsive, insightful and unique. She was a real free spirit without a care in the world. One of the greater heroines of romantic comedies. 

Featuring other familiar faces such as Susan Sarandon, Jessica Biel, Judy Greer, Bruce McGill, and Alec Baldwin, Elizabethtown was a cool glass of fizzy water on a hot day. It was both refreshing and bubbly. I guarantee that you’ll smile at least once. A very cute and clever romantic comedy about the different luxuries of life.