Beauty and the Beast (La Belle et la Bete) [PG]

Deep in the heart of a forest, in an enchanted castle lives a frightening and disfigured beast. When a weary traveller gets lost and comes across the Beast’s rose bushes, he plucks one to take home to his beautiful daughter Belle. This tiny gesture of love enrages the Beast, but he gives the traveller one chance to live: if one of his daughters will take his place as payment for stealing the rose, then he will be allowed to live. If not, he must come back and face his death. 

Beauty and the Beast is my all-time favourite fairy tale, and so when I came across this film at work, I simply had to sit down and watch it. This black-and-white fantasy from Jean Cocteau was an absolutely dazzling surreal interpretation of Madame Le Prince de Beaumont’s tale of love and beauty. 

Belle is the most beautiful young woman in the village, but she spends her time scrubbing floors and waiting on her two vain and selfish sisters, Felicity and Adelaide. While her brother Ludovic teases and taunts their sisters, Belle receives a proposal of marriage from Ludovic’s best friend Avenant. Although complimented and fond of Avenant, Belle refuses his proposal, as hers is a poor family and she cannot leave her beloved father. Whilst travelling in the woods, Belle’s father becomes horribly lost and finds himself at the door of an enchanted castle. After satisfying his thirst and regaining some of his strength, he plucks a rose from one of the bushes in the castle garden to bring back to his daughter Belle. But, as soon as he does, a frightening and disfigured beast appears and warns him that the penalty for stealing his roses is death. As the traveller pleads, the Beast gives him one chance to live: if one of his daughters will come to the castle to take his place, then he can go home. Upon his return, he tells his children his story and Belle, feeling guilty that this was all her fault, sneaks out to take her father’s place at the castle. As she spends more time there, she comes to see a great loneliness in the Beast and begins to see that beauty is not something that can be seen on the outside. 

Just a little bit of history on the most wonderful and powerful fairy tale of all time: Beauty and the Beast was originally written by Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve, but it’s the abridged version that is more commonly known; done by Jeanne-Marie Le Prince de Beaumont. Jean Cocteau’s Beauty and the Beast or La Belle et la Bete is a surreal interpretation of Madame Le Prince de Beaumont’s abridged version. 

Filmed in black-in-white in 1946, this wonderful film looks at the classic tale with a slight darkness that is, at the same time, both melancholy and macabre. All through the enchanted castle are hands protruding from the walls and voices that come from nowhere, a little startling, but successfully explaining the magic of the place. 

The costumes were simply beautiful, even in black and white. Sparkling jewels and flowing gowns befitting royalty; every girl’s dream. 

Another thing I really liked about this film was how the music played an equal or sometimes even greater part than the actors. For long stretches in the film there is just powerful music that drowns out all other sounds and, at the same time, continues to tell the story. Very artistic. 

Starring Jean Marais, Josette Day, Mila Parely, Nane Germon, Michel Auclair, and Raoul Marco, Beauty and the Beast (La Belle et la Bete) was a beautifully crafted film filled with passion, romance, suspense, and drama. A true beauty. 

Dracula [M]

Centuries ago, Count Dracula lost his love. In a fit of rage he renounced God and drank blood, giving him eternal life and eternal damnation. Now, so many years later, he has found his love again and through murders and sinister seductions, will have her by his side, forever damned. 

As I have mentioned before, I am a firm believer in reading the books before watching the films, and Bram Stoker’s Dracula is a classic tale of horror that needs to be in any library. After finally finishing the book, I could not wait to watch Coppola’s film about the Un-Dead. I am in two minds about the film. I absolutely love the performances given by the star cast, but I am not so crazy about the story of love. It is possible that I misinterpreted the book, but from what I remember, Dracula was a tale of good versus evil, man against demon, and the power of God against the forces of the Devil. I did not read anything that suggested that Dracula lost his love centuries ago and then found it again in another’s wife. After starting this film at five thirty this morning and finishing it at almost a quarter to eight, I am left disillusioned and mildly frustrated. 

Centuries ago, a great battle took place and Count Dracula went to fight. He won the battle but lost the war, as he returns home to learn that his darling wife and true love had taken her own life after being falsely told that her husband had perished in battle. And by the will of God, those who take their own lives are to burn for eternity; a fate that Dracula feels is grossly unfair to befall his love. He renounces God and drinks blood, giving him eternal life and eternal damnation. Now, after four centuries of painful loneliness, the Count has found his love again in the fiancé of another man. He promises to have his love by his side in eternal damnation, but there are those who oppose him and will stop at nothing until the world his rid of this evil and Miss Mina, the object of Dracula’s desire, is safe. 

Dracula was a 3-time Oscar winner in 1992, picking up the awards for Best Make-Up, Best Costume Design, and Best Sound Effects. Alright, I will say that, in terms of film, this movie was absolutely brilliant. It was beautifully crafted, the performances were breathtaking, and the make-up, sets, and costumes were just beautiful. It was just the story that I found upsetting. But let’s not dwell on that point, let us talk about what made Dracula a wonderful film. 

As I mentioned before, it was very visually pleasing. Erotic, seductive, sinister, and clever. One thing that really stood out was the zooming aerial camera shots. It’s very inclusive in that it makes you feel as though you yourself are the Count, flying through the night air through rain and mist. Very clever and sinister at the same time.  The sets were amazing, especially Castle Dracula, the evil lair itself. It was dilapidated and wonderfully falling to ruin, very reflective of its owner and inhabitant. And the costumes were beautiful. Stylish, suave, erotic, and very telling of the age, it really is no wonder that they picked up an Oscar. 

Gary Oldman stars as the Count himself and he was absolutely mesmerising. I do love Gary Oldman, in everything I’ve seen him in there is always a softness about him. Sometimes it’s warm, other times it’s cold and melancholy, but it’s always there nonetheless. I fell in love with Gary the first moment I laid eyes on him in this film. He was menacing, but at the same time there was sadness, and his performance throughout the entire film made me melt. I salute you Gary. 

Anthony Hopkins plays Doctor Van Helsing, another famous character in English literature, and he was brilliant. In this dramatic and sinister plot, Anthony provided the comic relief, mainly in his delivery. No joke, his delivery of certain lines was pure genius. For example, the scene where everyone is at Lucy’s funeral and Van Helsing approaches Dr Seward asking for certain knives. Dr Seward, shocked, asks if Van Helsing really intends to perform an autopsy and Van Helsing simply and sincerely replies: “no I just want to cut off her head and take out her heart.” Just the way he said it! Oh man I was giggling for near to five minutes. 

Behind Gary and Anthony stand a great line-up of actors including Keanu Reeves, Richard E Grant, Winona Ryder, Cary Elwes, Bill Campbell, Sadie Frost and Tom Waits. 

Filled with love, lust, blood, suspense, and nightmarish creatures, Coppola’s Dracula was a beautifully crafted horror, balanced wonderfully with comedy, horror, eroticism, and action. A classic.  

Alice In Wonderland [G]

Having been asked to sing in front of strangers, Alice finds herself suffering from a bad case of stage fright. After running away in search of a place to hide, she follows a white rabbit and, before she knows it, she has tumbled down a rabbit hole into a world where everything and nothing is real. 


Lewis Carroll’s little heroine has fallen down the rabbit hole time and time again, each time to come to a new Wonderland. I don’t think any other story has been made into a film as many times as Alice In Wonderland has. Though it has been done time and time again, this version from 1999 has to be my favourite. 


When young Alice is asked by her parents to sing in front of their friends, she suffers from a bad case of stage fright. Although her parents may know these people, she doesn’t, and so she runs away in search of a place to hide until the tea party is over and everyone has gone home. Whilst hiding in the woods, a white rabbit in a waistcoat hurries past and Alice, being a curious young lady, follows him. Before she knows it, she has tumbled down a large rabbit hole and is in a room full of locked doors. After managing to open the smallest door, Alice discovers a beautiful garden: the perfect place for her to hide. She becomes determined to get to that garden, just until her parents’ tea party ends. But getting to the garden proves to be trickier than she initially thought, and after meeting so many strange and sometimes startling characters along the way, is it going to be as safe as it seems? 


I like this version of Alice because the strange characters actually play a part. What I mean by that it that, through her dealings with them, Alice develops the confidence she needs to be able to face the strangers back home and sing to them. All the characters in this Wonderland love to perform and are shocked to find that Alice dislikes it. It was great. 
This version of Alice also features heaps of characters that I have never seen in any other version. In this one we meet the Gryphon and Mr. Mock Turtle, the White Knight, the Duchess and her pepper-obsessed cook, and Mr Mouse who gives the world’s driest lectures. And this movie has EVERYONE in it. I mean it; practically every face is a familiar one. Tina Majorino is Alice, Robbie Coltrane is Tweedle Dum, Whoopi Goldberg is the Cheshire Cat, Ben Kingsley is the Caterpillar, Christopher Lloyd is the White Knight, Pete Postlethwaite, is the Carpenter, Miranda Richardson is the Queen of Hearts, Martin Short is the Mad Hatter, Peter Ustinov is the Walrus, George Wendt is Tweedle Dee, Gene Wilder is Mr. Mock Turtle, Jason Flemying is the Knave of Hearts, Liz Smith is the Hen, Jason Byrne is Pat, Elizabeth Spriggs is the Duchess, and Joanna Lumley is the voice of the Tiger Lilly. Not to mention that the creature effects were done by Jim Henson’s Creature Shop! How can you not want to watch this now? 
Filled with loveable characters, wonderful costumes and makeup, and a limited amount of computer generated effects, Alice In Wonderland is a wonderful fairy tale that both children and adults can enjoy. Absolutely brilliant! 

Letters to Juliet [PG]

When a young American named Sophie travels to Verona, home of Juliet Capulet from Shakespeare’s classic tale of romance, she joins a group of women who call themselves “Juliet’s secretaries”: women who answer letters that are written to Juliet, seeking advice about love. After answering a letter from 1951, Sophie inspires the author of the letter to travel to Italy in a search for her long-lost love and sets off a series of events that will bring a love into their lives like none they ever imagined.  

This was the most perfect love story. You know why? Because it dealt with all kinds of different love. Not just love between a man and a woman, but love for strangers, love of adventure, and a love of love. Definitely a chick flick, this movie was filled with nothing but love, just like the lyrics of all those songs say:

 “Love is in the air everywhere I look around.” 

“I feel it in my fingers, I feel it in my toes. Love is all around me and so the feeling grows.” 

“Marry me Juliet you’ll never have to be alone. I love and you and that’s all I really know. I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress. It’s a love story, baby just say yes.”  

Young American fact-finder Sophie is good at her job, but she’s even better at writing and wishes to become a journalist someday. When she and her fiancé take a pre-wedding honeymoon to Verona, the hometown of Juliet Capulet from Shakespeare’s classic tale of romance, Sophie joins a group of women who call themselves “Juliet’s secretaries”: women who answer letters written to Juliet asking for advice about love. After Sophie finds and answers a letter dated from 1951, she inspires its author to travel to Italy to find her long-lost love. After meeting Claire, the author of the letter, Sophie joins her and her grandson Charlie on their journey to find Claire’s lost love Lorenzo, a journey that will change all their lives forever. 

Letters To Juliet was a beautiful film, filled with love stories, beautiful scenery, and wonderful characters. After watching just a scene set in Verona, you instantly want to go there. The cinematography and the way that the scenery was incorporated into the film was breathtaking, it’s well worth seeing the movie just for that. 

Amanda Seyfried is Sophie and she is beautiful. I think that she is one of the most gorgeous actresses working today. After the success of Mamma Mia!, where she also played a Sophie, Amanda seems to popping up everywhere and with good reason. She’s a truly gifted actress and in Letters to Juliet she was absolutely enchanting. 

Vanessa Redgrave played Claire and I fell in love with her on sight. I actually learnt from my dad last night that in the 1967 film Camelot, Vanessa played Guenevere and Franco Nero, who played Lorenzo in Letters to Juliet, played Lancelot. During that film they had an affair and a child, and forty years later they got married. After hearing this, Letters to Juliet seems to be Vanessa’s own true and beautiful love story. How lovely is that? 

Filled with beautiful scenery, a lovely script, wonderful characters, love, and even a balcony scene, Letters to Juliet was a truly beautiful love story, not tragic or sad like Romeo and Juliet or Moulin Rouge or The Time Traveler’s Wife, just lovely and happy. The film washes over you like a wave of warm water. It’s simply magical. 

Zoolander [M]

With the new Malaysian Prime Minister working on abolishing child slave labour, the fashion industry is under threat. Without the slaves to manufacture their goods, the fashion moguls will go bankrupt within a year. They need to hire an assassin to quickly rid them of the Malaysian Prime Minister, and they find it in the self-absorbed and brainless male model Derek Zoolander. But with fashion week upon them, and a journalist relentlessly sniffing around for a scoop, can the dirty deed get done it time? 

This has to be one of the funniest, cleverest, and most brilliantly satiric comedies ever made! With an original story, brilliant characters, and a knock-out script, Zoolander is one of those movies that you can always come back to. And it just keeps getting funnier! Seriously, I must have seen this film fifty times before, I mean I can almost recite the script word for word, and it still gets me laughing every time. 

The powerful, corrupt, and heartless fashion moguls of the world a put under threat when the new Malaysian Prime Minister begins gaining support on his plan to abolish child slavery. With many of the popular items of clothing being manufactured in sweatshops along the Malaysian borders, if slavery is abolished, then the fashion heads will go bankrupt within a year. In a state of desperation, the world’s fashion moguls call upon American designer Mugatu to get rid of the Prime Minister. Mugatu needs to find an empty-headed vessel of a human being to pull off a hasty assassination, and he finds it in famous male model Derek Zoolander. With his career winding down and a recent article in Time Magazine causing Derek to become a laughing stock of the fashion world, Mugatu hires Derek to fashion his new range and then brainwashes him to kill the Prime Minister on the night of the fashion show. But with a journalist relentlessly sniffing around for a scoop, Mugatu’s plan is going to prove harder to pull off them some of his fashions. 

This was clever writing all the way. The story was an original idea from Ben Stiller, who also directed, produced, and wrote the screenplay, and the script is a goldmine of killer punch lines and visual jokes. I have to draw attention to my favourite scene at this point: 

Derek and Hansel are charged with the task of going into Derek’s agent’s computer and recovering some files that will save Derek and put Mugatu in prison. But neither Derek nor Hansel has ever used a computer before, and the scene focuses on them trying to turn on the computer. They’re pressing buttons and hitting the computer, and the scene turns into the monkey scene from 2001 a Space Odyssey, they even play Also Sprach Zarathustra in the background as the two men are shrieking and jumping around. 

It’s hugely entertaining, gets me every time. And some of the lines that come out of this flick are simply priceless! Unfortunately I can’t quote them in writing because it’s the way the actors deliver them that makes them so deadly. 

Ben Stiller stars as Derek Zoolander: 3% body fat, 1% brain activity. I think this is the greatest thing Ben’s ever done! He was naïve, dim, adorable, and outrageously brave to wear some of the costumes he had to model. Whether he’s wearing a cape made of garbage or a one-piece set of pyjamas covered in penguins, he pulls off every scene with style, flare, and an egocentric view of himself. He’s an absolute delight from start to finish. 

Competing with Ben for the spotlight is Owen Wilson who plays Hansel. With his beautiful locks, broken nose, and scooter, he really makes his presence known. As Mugatu says “Hansel, he’s so hot right now.” 

Will Ferrell is Mugatu, absolutely brilliant! Will really doesn’t mind getting his hands dirty or being hated. In Zoolander, he’s constantly screaming, inflicting pain on other people, and plotting dastardly crimes. He’s a truly eccentric actor, that’s why we all love him. 

As if Ben, Owen, and Will aren’t enough, the film also stars Christine Taylor, Jerry Stiller, Jon Voight, David Duchovny, and Milla Jovovich, as well as numerous cameos from Billy Zane, Lenny Kravitz, Fabio, David Bowie, Paris Hilton, Natalie Portman, Cuba Gooding Jr., Victoria Beckham, Winona Ryder, Christian Slater, Donald Trump, Vince Vaughn, Claudia Schiffer, Stephen Dorff, and Tommy Hilfiger. 

Filled with memorable characters, hilarious jokes, dastardly plots, romance, and the greatest head-to-head battle you’ve ever seen, Zoolander has “comedy classic” written all over it. A must-have in any film collection! 

Pinocchio [G]

Relive the beautiful story about the little puppet that could. In this platinum edition, celebrate the 70^th anniversary of the Walt Disney masterpiece that taught the world to believe in their dreams and wish upon a star. Join Pinocchio as he learns the morals he needs to become a real boy. 

And here we go again everyone, another Disney classic to add to the collection. Not my favourite Disney film, but it has got some very strong messages in it that you don’t see a lot in today’s society. 

Geppetto is a wonderful maker of toys who longs to have a son of his own. In an attempt to achieve this, he creates Pinocchio, a little wooden puppet. After celebrating the completion of Pinocchio, Geppetto makes a wish that Pinocchio might one day be a real boy and his very own son. And since Geppetto has brought so much joy and laughter to others during his life, the Blue Fairy decides that he deserves to have his wish come true. She blesses Pinocchio with life, but in order for him to become a real boy, he must prove that he is brave, truthful and unselfish. And to teach Pinocchio the difference between right and wrong, the Blue Fairy appoints a cricket by the name of Jiminy Cricket to be Pinocchio’s conscience, to lead him down the straight and narrow path. But unfortunately the straight and narrow path is riddled with temptations, and what is Pinocchio to do when the urge becomes too strong? 

Pinocchio stands apart from other Disney films, I think, because it is guided by morals and the film aims to teach children those morals that will make them model citizens in society. Through wonderful animation, loveable characters, and catchy songs, the audience is taught to put the good of others before their own, not to tell lies, to believe in their dreams, and to listen to their conscience. 

Hands down, Pinocchio embodies powerful messages and is a truly remarkable story. I think that’s probably why the tune that plays when we see the Disney castle before most Disney movies, is When You Wish Upon a Star, the main song used in this movie. 

Filled with loveable characters, bravery, songs, dancing, and a number of nasty villains, Pinocchio is a timeless Disney classic that will live on through the ages. 

Mars Attacks! [M]

From the deep crevices of the angry red planet Mars, emerges a highly intelligent breed of Martians with one thing in mind: to invade planet Earth. With their advanced weaponry that turns humans into char grilled skeletons, they are armed and dangerous, but never fear! For Earth will fight back with an unexpected weapon of mass destruction. Take that Martians!  

So here I am, with an excruciatingly sore throat and popping pills like a mad woman, completely absorbed in the chaotic sci-fi spoof that is Tim Burton’s Mars Attacks!  I haven’t seen this movie in ages and had actually forgotten how hysterical and ridiculous it was. A wonderful mess of explosions, fire, spaceships, Martians, and famous faces. 

From the deep crevices of the red planet Mars, emerges a highly intelligent race of beings with one thing in mind: to invade the planet Earth. With their advanced weaponry that turns humans into char grilled skeletons, they are armed and dangerous and intent on causing some chaos. All the world leaders’ attempts to reason or negotiate peace with them have been futile and as we scurry across the face of the earth away from their mayhem, they are laughing at us and teasing us with false apologies and declarations of peace. But never fear, because Earth will fight back and we have an unexpected weapon that’s twice as deadly as any insta-fry ray gun. Take that Martians! 

I have to start by saying that if you do try and make sense out of this film, you will go insane. The way to watch this movie is to just watch and enjoy. Lap up all the absurdness of the situation and just laugh. A tribute to the old sci-fi films that had no real story and everything just happened, Mars Attacks! is an absolute train wreck, devastating to behold, but at the same time monumental and beautiful. It’s just complete and utter chaos: buildings being blown up, politics being fried, bodies being disassembled, all at the hands of these little people with huge brains and wide eyes. 

This is a wonderful example of a film that is driven by its cast and not its script or plot. The list of names goes on and on and on: 

Jack Nicholson plays two parts, the American President and a rich hotel owner, and he is absolutely fantastic. If he ran for office and I was an American citizen, he would totally have my vote. 

The film also stars Annette Bening, Glenn Close, Natalie Portman. Danny DeVito, Jack Black, Christina Applegate, Sarah Jessica Parker, Michael J Fox, Pierce Brosnan, Martin Short, Lisa Marie, and Tom Jones. How can you resist that?! 

With knock-out special effects and a spine-tingling score by Danny Elfman, Mars Attacks! is a wonderfully chaotic film where everything happens for no reason. Filled with action, suspense, violence, romance, and science-fiction, it’s a film that just gets better every time you watch it. 

The Wog Boy [M]

He owns a hot car, he scores hordes of chicks, and he spends his days doing absolutely nothing, Steve is the world’s most comfortable wog. But when he finds himself on national television being branded as “Australia’s biggest dole bludger” he has to prove to himself, his country, and a chick he likes, that there is more to him than meets the eye. With the help of his friends, Steve’s going to prove that every wog has his day. 

This is one of those movies that everyone knows. It’s been out for years, and can you believe that I had never watched it until today? I pulled it out from work because the second one came in and I figured I may as well bone up on the whole Wog Boy phenomenon. And currently suffering from a nasty bastard of a cold, lying in bed, drugged up on cold tablets, popping soothers, and watching movies seemed the appropriate cure. 

Having been teased at school because of his background, Steve has grown up to be the best and biggest wog that Australia has ever seen. He lives a very comfortable life on the dole and he spends his days driving around in his hot car, picking up hordes of chicks, and doing absolutely nothing. But this all changes when he has a run-in with the Minster of Employment, Raelene Beagle-Thorpe and suddenly finds himself on national television being branded as “Australia’s biggest dole bludger.” Now Steve is determined to prove to himself, his country, and a chick that he really likes, that there is more to him than meets the eye. And with the help of his friends, he’s about to prove that every wog has his day. 

This was quite a good film. It had a nice simple story and characters that you rooted for, quite similar to The Castle. 

Nick Giannopoulos is Steve and he was great. Easy to like, a little arrogant, an everyman that the audience can relate to in some way or another. 

Vince Colosimo is Steve’s best mate Frank and he was brilliant. Stylish, sexy, and very romantic, despite the fact that he moves through chicks faster than he movies through a pair of tight pants. Hugely entertaining to watch. 

Backed by a clever little script, an original and simple story, and wonderfully different characters, The Wog Boy was a very  enjoyable film about pride and proving that the real power is now what you know, but who you know. 

The Wannabes [M]

Talentless entertainer Danny is hired by Marcus and his motley crew to turn them into the hottest kids’ group since the Wiggles. But while Danny is busy training them up, they’re secretly planning to use the kids’ group as a cover to pull off a big jewellery heist. However, after all their plotting and hard work, the heist doesn’t go according to plan. But instead of getting caught, the unthinkable happens: they become the hottest kid’s band in the country, they become The Wannabes. 

For the past couple of days, I’ve had scenes from this movie continually running through my mind, so I finally caved and rented it out from work. I’d almost forgotten how funny it is. It’s filled with menacing characters, a fresh and original story, and hilarious songs. 

Danny is a talentless wannabe entertainer who spends his time wearing leg-warmers and teaching seniors bad dance routines. But this all changes when he gets hired by a guy named Marcus to transform a motley crew of thugs and misfits into the biggest children’s groups since the Wiggles. Reluctantly, Danny agrees, but he doesn’t know that Marcus and the boys are using their kid’s band as a cover in order to pull off a major jewellery heist. However, after all their plotting and hard work, the heist doesn’t go according to plan, but instead of being caught and dragged off to prison, the unthinkable happens: they become The Wannabes, the hottest kid’s band in the country and they discover that crime doesn’t pay, but kid’s groups do. 

From writer, director and Wog Boy Nick Giannopoulos, comes this refreshingly original and wonderfully funny comedy about self-discovery, risk-taking, and talentless wannabes. I simply have to mention the songs that the band comes out with. I haven’t heard such cheesy and hysterical songs since Boytown. The band sings about everything from apples and carrots to dancing around in dirty underwear. Simply brilliant. 

What makes the songs even funnier is the group of characters that sing them. You have Danny, the patronising and over-eager lead singer. Then there’s Marky Marcus, the grumpy macho man dressed in hot pink. And then there’s Hammer, a foul-mouthed lad with nothing but sex on his mind. And of course we have Wally the Wombat who suffers greatly at the hands of boys when the video demands it. 

Filled with action, romance, sex, and bad dance routines, The Wannabes is a wonderful Aussie comedy that will have you in tears from start to finish. 

The Girl Who Played With Fire [MA] -Swedish

Michael Blomkvist is back at Millennium, ready to cause a fresh new media ruckus. So when a young freelance journalist and researcher approaches him about publishing an article about sex-trafficking, Blomkvist is very eager to expose the people in high places who are involved in the crime. However, things go horribly wrong when the young journalist, Dag Svensson, and his girlfriend are found murdered. The plot thickens as Blomkvist's old friend Lisbeth Salander is identiefied as the prime suspect. Convinced of her innocence, Blomkvist dives into yet another dark and sinister mystery that will produce some disturbing truths. 

I watched David and Margaret give their two cents on this movie on the ABC and even though they delivered some disappointing news about the movie, I still escorted myself to the cinema to see it. David and Margaret were right. 


Michael Blomkvist has gone back to the Millennium offices and is ready to create another media ruckus like he did with the Wennerstrom Affair. So when a young freelance journalist and reseacher named Dag Svensson approches Millennium with an article about sex-trafficking, Blomkvist cannot resist exposing those respected people in high places for what they really are: corrupt criminals. However, things go horribly wrong when Dag Svensson and his girlfriend Mia are found shot dead in their apartment. For Blomkvist, everything goes from bad to worse when the police come up with a prime suspect who's fingerprints have been discovered all over the murder weapon: Lisbeth Salander. Having worked with Salander before, on a case where she saved his life, Blomkvist is convinced of her innoncence and, in order to have her name cleared, he dives into yet another dark and sinister investigation that will bring some very dark and disturbing truths to light.


I have to start by saying that The Girl Who Played With Fire is nowhere near as thrilling and engrossing as its predecessor The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. Which is a real shame because it was the other way round with the books. The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo was brilliant, but The Girl Who Played With Fire was the most gripping and amazing thing that I have read to date. And then to watch this movie, I could feel the floor falling away from under my feet. I was quite disappointed. 
The film has a different director, Daniel Alfredson, and a different screenwriter, Jonas Frykberg, and I found that really obvious in the way this movie was done. The film looks more like a dramatic crime mini-series, all the stories are thrown together carelessly and jaggedly, most of the time without any explanation as to where you are and who you're watching, which is why reading the book before you see the film is almost always the right way to go. Niels Arden Oplev directed the first movie and Nikolai Arcel and Rasmus Heisterberg wrote the screenplay, which was wonderful. It's a real shame that the torch has been passed over.
And even the characters seemed different. Michael Nykvist who plays Blomkvist really does have only one facial expression and Noomi Rapace, who was so enchatingly mysterious in the first film isn't so in this one.
I will say that the use of music was very good. It did manage to convery the anticipation and everything that the book has oozing out of it. There was even a moment where I gave a little startled jump in the cinema, thank God it was dark.
But all in all, The Girl Who Played With Fire was a real disappoinment. Stieg Larsson's wonderful crime story is closey cropped and the film is nowhere near as gripping as the first one. 

The Spy Next Door [PG]

Chinese spy Bob Ho is on loan to the CIA to capture a man called Poldark. Whilst saving the world, Bob is simultaneously dating his neighbour Gillian and being hated by her three children. But when he puts Poldark behind bars, Bob retires from the spy game to settle down, marry Gillian and get to know her family. After all, he’s overthrown evil dictators, how hard can three kids possibly be? 

I don’t know what was going through my mind when I hired this movie. All it is, is 94 minutes of karate fight sequences with the occasional heartfelt chat thrown in. It was trying to be The Pacifier and failing miserably. 

Bob Ho is an international Chinese spy who is on loan to the CIA to help capture a Russian mastermind known as Poldark. Whilst ridding the world of the bad guys, Bob is simultaneously posing as a pen importer and dating his neighbour Gillian, a single mother with three kids who hate Bob’s guts. Once Bob puts Poldark behind bars, he retires from the spy game to settle down, marry Gillian, and get to know and love her family. But his retirement is short-lived when Poldark escapes and Gillian has to fly to Denver to look after her father, leaving the kids in Bob’s care. Whilst doing their own investigation on Bob, the kids mistake a top-secret file stolen from the Russians as a bootleg copy of a concert and download it. With the Russians desperate to get the file back and the kids making his life a living hell, this is the toughest assignment that Bob has ever had to endure. 

Pitched as a fun family comedy, The Spy Next Door was just over an hour of high-tech gadgets, temper tantrums, and karate fight sequences. I found that the film relied rather heavily on the action, which seemed to be the only thing that it had going for it. The story was pretty average, the characters where clichés that have been seen time and time again, the performances where pretty much whatever, and there was no real balance between the action and the scenes where Bob and the kids connect. It looked as though the film was trying to recreate the magic of The Pacifier, but failing miserably. 

Jackie Chan is Bob Ho and really, you can’t really do anything spectacular with this character. A spy who gives up one life of action for another that’s even more troublesome, you don’t really have much legroom. 

There are too many twists of the plot too. The story leads you in a direction where it seems that Bob and the kids are connecting and then suddenly changes so all the characters are back to square one. It’s not smooth or consistent at all. 

All in all, I found The Spy Next Door to be an average comedy, really more appealing for the kids than anyone over the age of thirteen. It’s definitely not a film that I would add to my collection. 

Enchanted [G]

Life is a fairy tale for Princess-to-be Giselle. She has found her prince, they have fallen in love and are to be married and live happily ever after. But that dream is short-lived when Giselle is banished from the animated land of Andalasia and thrust into the bustling and rude reality of New York. Desperate to get back home to her true love, Giselle finds help in a cynical, no-nonsense lawyer and as the two learn about one another, each gets enchanted. 

This has to be the cleverest Disney movie ever made! With a wonderful story, catchy new songs, and brilliant characters, Enchanted is a new Disney classic with a twist. 

“One upon a time, in a magical kingdom known as Andalasia, there lived an evil queen. Selfish and cruel, she lived in fear that one day her stepson would marry, and she would lose her throne forever. And so she did all in her power to prevent the prince from ever meeting the one special maiden with whom he would share true love’s kiss.” 

When Giselle is rescued from a troll by Prince Edward, the two fall in love and arrange to be married the next morning. But when the evil queen Narissa learns of this plan, she banishes Giselle to a place where there a no happily ever afters: the cold, harsh, chaotic reality of New York. Lost and confused, Giselle desperately tries to find her way back home to her Prince, but her attempts are to no avail. Then a rational, no-nonsense lawyer comes to her aid and, as the two share their ideas and experiences with love, each becomes enchanted. 

As I mentioned before, this is a Disney classic with a twist. The twist is that it takes the piss out of Disney. It embellishes the initial romance between the maiden and the Prince, showing how spontaneous and impractical the romances of Snow White and Sleeping Beauty are. It’s really quite clever. On a trivial note, and I’m sure that it’s only the Disney tragics like me who actually noticed this, the film is filled with references to other Disney movies. That’s the other thing that makes this movie so clever. Narissa is obviously the Evil Queen from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, as is shown by the way she turns into a hag and tempts Giselle with a poisoned apple. Giselle seems to be a mixture of a number of Disney princesses, she has red hair like Ariel from The Little Mermaid, she lives in a modest house in the forest like Aurora from Sleeping Beauty and she has a beautiful voice that calls animals to her just like Aurora and Snow White. The Happy Working Song that Giselle sings whilst she and the animals are cleaning Robert’s apartment is an obvious reference to the scene from Snow White when she’s cleaning the dwarfs’ house and singing Whistle While You Work. During the song there’s a part where Giselle is cleaning the bathroom and there are bubbles everywhere reflecting her, that’s from Cinderella. In the park, an old woman asks Giselle if she’d like to feed the birds, a bit of Mary Poppins there, and the restaurant where Giselle and Robert have dinner is called the Bella Notte, which is the title of a song from Lady and the Tramp. Narissa turning into a dragon is obviously from Sleeping Beauty and Giselle leaving her shoe behind is the calling card of Cinderella. It’s fantastic how all these little things creep into the mix. 

Amy Adams is Giselle and she is absolutely adorable. Enchanted was the movie that really catapulted her into awareness. Seriously, before this movie, I had never heard of her. With her flowing arm gestures, her beautiful wide eyes, and her enchanting voice, she truly was the star of the show. Positively mesmerising. 

Patrick Dempsy is the cynical lawyer Robert who supplies the movie with a healthy dose of reality. He’s always pointing out how ridiculous it is to marry someone after only knowing them one day and how unbelievable it is for everyone to know the words to a song that’s being made up as it goes along. Every movie has to have a killjoy and Patrick played the park perfectly. 
James Marsden is Prince Edward and he was just downright awesome! Delivering a very over-the-top and grandiose performance, whilst wearing sleeves that look like he’s hiding rockmelons in, he’s an absolute delight to watch from start to finish. He’s handsome, dramatic, egocentric, and a little dim, but all the while you’re rooting for him. Rock on! 

Also starring Susan Sarandon as Queen Narissa, Timothy Spall as Nathaniel the queen’s servant, and Julie Andrews as the narrator, Enchanted is a perfect family film filled with action, romance, drama, fantasy, and outrageous musical numbers. Perfect for the whole family any and every time. You’ll be enchanted (you can’t have expected me not to do that!). 

"I’ve been dreaming of a true love’s kiss."